best friend

it is weird
to be wordless.

"it wasn't always perfect but it
wasn't always bad"

bad enough.

i will wear your t-shirts
and hold your letters close

but they are as close as i will get

what is worse
is that you knew that.

what is okay
is that it's okay now.

i need nothing more.

when your heart is broken
enough times
there are no pieces left to shatter.


-hb
5/14/12

how nice it is
that i don't want you anymore
how nice it is
that i feel nothing
how nice it is
that you killed it all off
and i can finally
hate you

On Second Thought.

I don't know you, but my cells do.
Reaching out for every bit of chemistry,
my skin tingling.
Rushing as though it is worth it.
In my head, I've made up adjectives
that define, describe and excuse
but it is
the same old thing.
When I start sweating
when my heart is racing
when you take hours to reply
when you're not sure
when I'm thinking of tiny blissful moments
that I wish I could re-do--
it is not as it should be
and it is back to square one.
Unbeknowst to you.


-hb
2/17/11

joy

eight spoonfuls of cancer and cinnamon swirling
in hot caffeine
internal vultures ready to
get me going
when sometimes a breath is a struggle
from the moment my eyes fly open
but i am
going.

i need my light and space
my calm
that is never
my brain stutters in silence
i keep it
under wraps
just know
i'm holding it together

and when it rushes through me like joy
in my bloodstream
when it's right
and i didn't have to be wrong to feel it
and the grey clouds are my sunshine
making me writhe
my heart is back.


-hb
2/17/11

Constant flux
Tidal waves
Shake me
Make me wet
And leave me dripping
When you leave

In the blackness
Of your water
I dare to swim
Flailing
Blind but ecstatic
Fast and frantic
I wait for the wave
That will pull me under.

-hb

8/31/11

missed call

are you there?
disconnection
are you there?
i can't hear you
i can't see you
disconnection
call ended
unknown number
disconnection
redial
re-connect
hello hello hello
i hear you smiling
signal dropped
heart pounding
are you there?


-hb
4/14/10